Handy Tells Rose (and the Doctor) the Truth
by tkelparis
Summary: Desperate to not be left behind, Handy uses his Donna side to inform Rose of some truths about about the Doctor's feelings – and who and what he is. How will it work? And what happens? (One of a series of unrelated stories titled "There's the Door!")


**Title**: Handy Tells Rose (and the Doctor) the Truth

**Series**: There's The Door!

**Rating**: T (emotions and death)

**Author**: tkel_paris

**Summary**: Desperate to not be left behind, Handy uses his Donna side to inform Rose of some truths about about the Doctor's feelings – and who and what he is. How will it work? And what happens?

**Disclaimer**: JE was the worst ending ever. Filled with wrong actions and a lack of thinking the implications through. Proof that I own nothing.

**Dedication**: I think this one came about from one of the numerous email brainstorming sessions with tardis_mole. And I've apparently inspired a different version of the "Handy says no" idea. Hey, I did put the basic idea on my writing prompts page. We just took very different paths with it. :D

**Author's Note**: How could someone with that much of Donna in them be happy with someone like Rose? The more I think about it, the less I believe it. And now I don't believe it at all. So...give Handy a chance to make things right! Contains a reference to "The Doctor Dances", so have tissues ready. The reference was also the inspiration for the revision to the ending.

**Handy Tells Rose (and the Doctor) the Truth**

**Started May 25, 2012**

**Finished April 4, 2013**

As he heard Donna's voice telling Rose that this was better than goodbye, the person who hadn't been given a chance to make his own identity and wasn't being given a say used the Time Lord side of his brain to quickly think things through. Donna's mind was being overtaken by the effects of the Meta-Crisis. If she still had her human thinking working right, she would've protested the Doctor's actions.

She had to know deep down that this was wrong, thought the man dubbed the Duplicate without being consulted on his own name. Rose did the same thing, forcing her will on others when the Doctor had told her to let him go, only her actions were even less justifiable – ripping open a TARDIS twice, forcing Donna to die in the parallel world, and using the cannon despite the Doctor's warning – than the Doctor's plan for him. Donna had to know, despite the Time Lord mind, how unfair the Doctor was being – to everyone. Even to Rose, who honestly needed a few home truths given to her.

Yes, he realized as he heard Donna telling him to tell Rose. This was it. His one and only chance to not be left behind in a world that could and would destroy him, if Rose didn't first, and then shortly be destroyed itself – and possibly more universes – by Rose when she resumed her fixation. His only chance to save Donna... the most important person in his universe.

The Doctor didn't see any of that. He should have, despite his apparent blind spot where Rose was concerned. The Duplicate believed Donna would call it a combination of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Stockholm Syndrome. Now the Doctor would be reminded of something he and Rose should never have forgotten.

He looked Rose in the eye, as she looked at him to explain things, and spoke quickly. "He thinks I would be an appropriate husband for you. He's forgotten how much growing up you still have to do. Jackie, you were carrying Tony last time the Doctor saw you. How old is he now?"

No one expected that. Although the Doctor's indignant look was mixed with a hearty dose of WTF. Clearly identifiable by the wide hard gaze and the single eyebrow up in the air.

Jackie had a hunch of what he was getting at. "As of when Rose left with the Preacher? Eleven years, seven months. And she's still dressing like she's seventeen."

The Doctor hissed through his teeth, eyes widening fast. Donna's mouth fell.

"And she's been using the Cannon, hasn't she? It didn't just... start working, like she said it had. She'd been actively using it to try to get back to the Doctor, am I right?"

"Yes."

The Duplicate didn't give Rose a chance to respond. "Almost twelve years, and I don't think you've changed. Your taste in clothing, hair style, make-up, and behavior seem almost exactly as they were when you were with the Doctor. A sixteen year old who claimed to be three years older. Oh, you think he didn't know? He just didn't call you on it once he figured out that you lied, waiting for you to confess of your own violition. Like he didn't call you on a lot of things – flirting with others to try to make him jealous, pitting Jack and Mickey against each other, bringing the Reapers down on Earth, and yet more things. I think the only reason he hasn't called you on _this_ was because he had to worry about the Daleks' plan. If the danger had gone away earlier, I think he might have."

Rose blinked. "But... then why didn't he call me on them? If he didn't like it, then why?"

He snorted. "Would you have listened? Were you mature enough to admit that you were in the wrong? Of course, he might not have been able to think about it, since he'd latched on to you as his pink and yellow life preserver who let him run from his past. Even if he'd been able to think about calling you on any one thing, something else had come up that needed addressing and he was back to where he'd started before. And you'd show some sign of actually growing into the person he saw in you. Yet you blatantly ignored his warnings that were meant to keep you safe time and time again, acted offended when he let his alien side show, made his tasks harder, and treated his pain with disregard that was utterly callous."

She flushed. "I didn't!"

"Oh? Doctor? Who's right? Her or me? Or do we have to ask Donna for the truth? She has your mind in hers, so she'd know just as well as I do about how – even as disappointed as you were in someone who didn't want to think of you as an alien – you couldn't bear the thought of leaving Rose behind after regenerating even though she became a clinging barnacle on your side instead of an assistant. It led you to treat Donna awfully when you first met and hurt Martha by making her feel inferior! Tell Rose the truth!"

The Doctor could feel Donna's eyes on him, boring holes into his soul. He shifted, wondering how Martha forgave him for the number of times he must have accidentally reminded her of things from her family's history and perhaps even current history. It took every ounce of courage to meet Rose's eyes. "He's right, Rose."

Rose stared at him in horror. "No. No!"

"Deny it all you want," the Duplicate said. "If the Ninth Doctor was going to call you on anything, it should've been the Reapers mess. Of course, meeting Jack and the whole nanogenes disaster gave him an easy out – which he should've seen through once you started trying to make him jealous. But I can prove just how mistaken you are. That Dalek who said the Doctor loved you, how did he come to that thinking? Do Daleks seem capable of recognizing emotions in others?"

She slowly looked back at him in confusion as she thought about it. Her eyes widened as many things the Doctor – the one she first met – told her came back. "No."

"Then how could that one Dalek, as isolated as he was, possibly believe that one person could be in love with another? How did he gain the emotions and ideas of a human?"

Rose's eyes widened as a few gears turned. "From... me. When I touched him."

He smiled grimly. "Yes. And the Doctor knew that. He fell out of whatever feelings he had for you years ago. Look him in the eye and demand to know what he was _really_ going to say to you the last time you were here. Demand the truth and nothing less. He owes you that much."

Her heart sinking into her shoes, she turned back to face the alarmed Doctor. "Well? When I stood on this beach on the worst day of my life, how was that sentence going to end?"

The Doctor was silent.

Her eyes watered as she shook her head, feeling her world collapse around her. "Is the truth that it's not what I thought it was?" She nearly choked on her own words. "That what I've believed for the last twelve years has been wrong?! What _were_ you going to say?!"

The Doctor grimaced. His Duplicate had his memories, and would say it if he didn't. And he wasn't going to let this chance for Rose to finally grow up to pass by. "I was going to say, 'Rose Tyler, thank you for pulling me back from the brink. Please have a good life. For me'. And then shut off the link."

The truth was in his eyes. Rose covered her mouth, not wanting to believe it.

"And grow up," the Duplicate added.

Rose and the Doctor whipped their respective heads to face the Duplicate. Donna's eyes widened, like she was watching a horrible event that she couldn't turn away from.

"He wouldn't have said it, even though you needed to hear it. As Donna might say, he's sometimes too polite to outright tell someone when they've done a huge wrong. Never mind all that hero worship he had toward you for saving his life that first time. Or maybe she'd say that he's too stupid about humans to know when they need to hear harsh truths, and too unwilling to drive company away when they've done something he remembers fondly. Speaking of Donna, I'm half her. I have her memories, too. I'm not his Duplicate. Nor hers. I'm something new, and he's just chucking me here without a thought about how I might need _my parents_ to figure things out, to guide me."

Donna was weeping, looking at the Doctor in horror as a few realizations hit her.

He swallowed, feeling the weight of her stare. Not to mention the weight of his own hearts, and his... son's... words.

Rose shook her head. "It's the Doctor I fell in love with. I wouldn't want someone foisted on me just because he was like him anyway. You look like him, but you're not him. I can hear Donna in your voice, see her in your mannerisms even as his shine through."

The Duplicate nodded. This kind of selfishness might actually lead her to the correct conclusion, if for the wrong reasons. "He's also not thinking about how my life will be on this world. He thinks I'll have a human lifespan, but I shouldn't exist at all. What if I _can_ regenerate? I won't be able to leave." He didn't mention the TARDIS cutting the Doctor gave him – not relevant to the discussion and its mention would derail his goals. "And how will this Torchwood react to me? I won't have any protection, except for your family – if I have them at all. Will Pete be able to keep them from getting their mitts on me?"

Donna gasped, covering her mouth with both hands.

The Doctor blanched. Oh, Rassilon, the Time Lord blood would be _sought_ after! What misdeeds could be done with that?!

Jackie's face was already pale, but she nearly turned white and whipped to face the Doctor. "How could you?! You told Rose that one drop of your blood could change the history of a planet! This world is practically xenophobic! He'll be seized within moments of us getting back to London!"

The Time Lord hung his head, ashamed. He was surprised that Donna hadn't already slapped him.

Donna was silent because she didn't trust herself to not rip into Rose. Or the Doctor. And she couldn't, not when they had to leave pretty soon. She'd waste precious time with her shouting.

"Oh, and his reasoning for you not returning to the universe you knew?" The Duplicate scowled. "Not worth voicing. I mean, he let Mickey return, and he's been here three more years than you have. It all boils down to one thing: he has never loved you, Rose."

Rose covered her mouth as she wailed. She'd half expected the words, but it didn't hurt any less.

"Even if he did, it doesn't change that your actions with the cannon might have contributed to Creation nearly being destroyed. It doesn't change that you spent over ten years pining after him, not willing to grow up. It doesn't change that you didn't care that the universes could be destroyed if he tried to cross over to get you back and that you ignored his warnings. It doesn't change that you ran roughshod over your mother's feelings and Mickey's. Not to mention Jack's and the Doctor's. It doesn't change that you made Jack immortal and caused him more suffering than any soul should endure or see. It doesn't change that you ripped the TARDIS open, without the Old Girl's consent. That's rape. It doesn't change that you hurt the Doctor by forcing him to give up a life to stop the Bad Wolf. And it doesn't change that you murdered another TARDIS, and my mother, to get back to the Doctor. And yes, I have her memories, so I know about you dropping her too far away to stop herself other than to walk in front of a lorry and how you frightened her, left her with no comfort."

With each word, Rose's eyes teared more and more as the force of the meaning hit. The person he was describing was a monster, nothing less. Was that what she'd become? She looked at her mother for any evidence that she thought otherwise, but the sad look told her it was wishful thinking.

Donna found her mind somehow clearing through the Time Lord consciousness a little more, and she was horrified. How many times could the Doctor have avoided a bad mess if he'd called Rose on her actions and lies?! Oh, she wished he'd found her somehow sooner!

The Doctor was agast as the depth of Rose's actions were put in such stark terms. He had been expecting the Duplicate – and he still thought of him as such for reasons he didn't want to identify yet – to love her, for some reason that now escaped him, but he clearly didn't. And that shouldn't have surprised him, yet it did.

Satisfied he'd made his point to his father, the Duplicate managed to catch Rose's wet eyes. "You're a danger to the universe. You lack the maturity to handle responsibility, especially regarding alien matters. He had to punish you somehow, and exile is the only palatable choice. The Shadow Proclamation would've killed you if he'd turned you over to them, and he wanted to prevent any harm to the Earth or the rest of the universe. So your ending here seemed a fitting thing."

The blonde lowered her head, crying softly.

Donna took a deep breath, trying to not choke on the roller-coasters that were her emotions right then. She couldn't even tell what was dominant at the moment. "We have to keep him, Doctor. There must be a way to... punish him... and yet let him have a life. He was thinking of Creation."

And Rose wasn't. Although left unsaid, the Doctor still heard the last three words loud and clear.

So did Rose. "Go," she said to the man who wore the Doctor's face, slightly jerking her head toward the TARDIS. "Stay with your family. I'll survive without him. What choice do I have?" The words were bitter, those of a kid who knew they had to take a punishment to have a chance at something fun.

Grimacing, the Doctor suppressed a sigh of dismay. Yes, it had been too much to hope she'd show more signs than she'd already displayed.

There, the Duplicate knew. That was his opening. Time was growing short for the TARDIS to leave, but so was his mother's. The Old Girl could hold out the moment longer he needed, he sensed. "It's not just that, Rose. If I stay, Donna will die."

The Doctor closed his eyes tightly, flinching as if from an electrical shock. He'd been hoping it wouldn't happen, but he'd feared Caan's prophecy fulfilling itself despite his hopes – especially when Donna seemed not really like herself.

Donna swallowed. "Because there... can't be a Human/Time Lord meta-crisis."

Now he had to act quickly. He walked to her side, ready if the Doctor tried to stop him. "Which is more reason I shouldn't be here. Since I'm apparently a criminal in his eyes, an interloper who's destroyed his hopes of a future with you, let me redeem myself and restore those dreams the only way possible." He grabbed Donna's head, connecting with her mind before anyone could react.

The Doctor opened his mouth to protest, but was silenced immediately. A golden glow emerged from the other man and seemed to flow into Donna through the connection. This lasted a few seconds, and then he let go and collapsed to the sand.

Rose cried from shock and Jackie rushed forward, but before anyone else could react, Donna stumbled backwards and burst into orange flames.

The Doctor screamed wordlessly, hands digging into his hair. What had his son done?!

Jackie grabbed Rose and tugged her back, terrified as they both covered their eyes. Jackie didn't even begin to understand what was happening, and Rose was not much ahead. She recognized the flames of regeneration, having seen them twice before, but it seemed like the Duplicate had practically committed suicide! Why?!

Only the Duplicate watched with calm. He knew what was happening, and welcomed it.

Donna reappeared when the flames faded. She gasped for breath, dazed and blinking. She placed her hand over her chest. "Two... two hearts," she rasped in shock. "But I'm the same otherwise."

Three mouths dropped. One grinned weakly.

Then Donna looked down, finally seeing the pale Duplicate, and cried. "Oh my god!" She fell to her knees and grasped his hand. "What did you do?"

"I gave you my... energy, to trigger... regeneration. Wasn't sure you could... do it on your own, so I gave... little... boost."

The Doctor, as grateful as he was that Donna was no longer in danger, knelt at the man's side. "But at the cost of your own life?!"

"That's what I want to know!" Rose cried, moving to stand over them. "Why?!"

The Duplicate narrowed his eyes at the Doctor, ignoring Rose. "What life? The Master did far worse than I would ever think of doing, and yet you would've kept him locked in the TARDIS if Lucy hadn't shot him. I'm your own flesh and blood, so why didn't I merit the same consideration as your oldest enemy?"

The Doctor's face fell, and tears leaked as he hearts stopped beating for a moment. He'd treated his own... son... worse than he'd treated his greatest enemy. The shame and horror was enough to render him speechless.

Donna's eyes flashed fury. "How could you not grant him mercy?!"

"Mum, he wanted... to punish... himself." He ignored the gasps over what he called her. "But... couldn't. I was... only option. He couldn't admit... he was exiling Rose... couldn't look... at me. Embody everything... he hates... 'bout himself... and thought... you didn't... want him."

Four pairs of eyes stared in shock at him, not daring to look at each other. The Doctor's were wider than anyone else's, his mouth slack from the unfamiliar feeling of having his secrets so exposed like that.

"But why, Rose? Remember why... he couldn't stop... boy in the... mask?"

The Doctor sucked in a breath. He recited the words from memory: "There isn't a little boy alive that wouldn't tear the world apart to save his mummy."

Rose's eyes widened as the memory returned. "But... parents die for their children."

"I destroyed... to save Mum... my family. Wasn't... going to live... long, so... I've given my parents... forever. Won't... live knowing... I'm unloved. Maybe... I can be... like Jenny, loved... in death," he added on a whisper as his eyes closed and he went still.

Donna burst into loud tears. "No!" She gathered her son into her arms, rocking him. "No!"

The Doctor stared sightlessly. Oh, Rassilon, what had he done?! To both of his children?!

Yet he felt the TARDIS nudge his mind with an idea, a reminder of the past. He closed his eyes, willing it to happen.

As Jackie wept, one mother's empathy to another over losing a child, Rose's eyes drifted between the others. She finally had a glimpse of what her mum said she'd been through when she was missing. Now she felt shame over her actions, the horror of how thoughtless she'd been – which she'd had a touch of back on Platform One. She bent next to the Doctor, ready to ask if there was something he could do.

But he was already bending over the Duplicate and breathing what looked like gold energy into his mouth. He drew back, watching, and grimaced. "Donna, let's get him into the TARDIS. This needs one more trigger."

He had to guide her inside and help lift the limp body. He was stunned when Rose and Jackie suddenly assisted. Given Donna's shock, he accepted it. Besides, this might help makes the lessons of today sink into Rose's thick mind.

"What's happening?! What are you doing?!" Rose demanded. Jackie's eyes showed a similar curiosity, but perhaps more comprehension that it might save the boy's life.

Once they were inside, he led them to put the Duplicate's rapidly dying body down in front of the Controls. He tugged Donna away from their son, and Rose and Jackie followed them. He talked the whole time. "I gave him ten years worth of my life, like I did to revive the TARDIS last time we were here. But it's not enough to trigger what's necessary to save his life – he gave practically every bit of his life to save his mum. So we need a bit more energy, and the only source is the Old Girl!"

The console opened and golden energy bathed the body for several seconds.

Donna's newly minted Time Lady mind connected the dots. "But you thought he couldn't regenerate!"

"If I was wrong about him, then maybe he can. With the right trigger. What happened to my last self is now his only hope."

The Duplicate's body started glowing, and then it stiffened. The TARDIS' energy flew back inside and shut the console just before the regeneration energy exploded.

The women all covered their eyes, although Donna quickly realized she could handle it with merely squinting. The Doctor forced himself to watch, squinting just as much, while he held Donna tightly against him. "Come on, come on!"

Suddenly it faded and there didn't seem to be a body left inside the clothing.

"Where is he?!" Distraught, Donna rushed to where her son had been. "Where _is_ he?!" Her hands touched the shirt, and she froze. Then she shifted the clothing around gently, tugging the shirt away. She – and the other women – gasped. Lying there, starting to stir, was a ginger newborn boy.

Rose looked slowly at the Doctor. "Is this like... Blon?"

"Not quite," the Doctor admitted, gently pushing Rose and Jackie toward the door. "The TARDIS regressed his body and gave him enough life back to trigger the regeneration cycle. That gave him a second heart. It's the other thing I didn't mention. His only having one heart would likely have ultimately killed him prematurely – a Time Lord brain needs lots of oxygen, and that one heart couldn't have done the job. I was afraid to watch him die in front of me, and that fed into my actions. This gives him a second chance."

Donna looked at him, eyes watery. Everything had seemed lost, and now... her dreams had come true? "And Caan's prophecy?"

A huge sigh of relief escaped the Doctor's lips as realization hit. A smile cracked his face. "This satisfies it, Donna. Our son as he was... is dead. He's been reborn, but he'll never remember what happened today. He's a clean slate, like he was truly born from you at the moment he formed in the TARDIS. Which is a form of birth, but that's for later. And that prophecy said nothing about anyone being reborn."

The TARDIS groaned loudly, making the Doctor flinch. "Rose, you and Jackie must go."

"Dimensional Retro-closure," Donna muttered numbly. "I get that stuff, now."

Jackie nodded. "He's a beautiful boy. Good luck to both of you." She tugged Rose out the door.

Rose held out a hand to stop the Doctor from closing the door, and met his eyes despite barely being able to see him for all her tears. "I'm so sorry, for everything I did wrong or every time I disappointed you. Be happy." It cost her so much to say it, but she had to leave with some dignity. She sniffled, and didn't let the Doctor answer. She just removed her TARDIS key and dropped it into his stunned hand, and then let her mother drag her away.

They watched as the Doctor shut the doors after them. Within seconds, the engines churned and the TARDIS disappeared from their lives for the last time. Rose collapsed to the sand, giving in to her complete heartbreak.

Jackie sighed. She wanted to tell her child to get herself together, but she supposed Rose was entitled to a big cry given how completely she'd had her illusions ripped away. She moved away to call Pete, letting Rose have some privacy to compose herself.

Not that it would happen for a while.

It was several tense minutes before the TARDIS exited the last remaining hole between the universes, just before it closed. The Doctor and Donna shared a relieved grin. Even more so since the jostling of the TARDIS – although gentler than it had been, which was partly due to two Time Lords piloting her – somehow didn't wake the baby, who'd been bundled in the Duplicate's clothes to cushion and secure him in place. Donna quickly and carefully scooped the shirt around him and cuddled him close. Then she looked up at the Doctor. "Now what?"

He tenderly brushed the ginger locks and gave Donna a watery smile. "We raise our little ginger-nut, never letting him once think he's unloved."

Donna gave her own weepy grin. "I think that might have earned you a kiss... husband."

His smile grew. "Not quite husband."

Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh. Because it's not complete. What would you have done if he hadn't spoken and given up his life?"

He lowered his eyes, not wanting her to see the tears that grew as he realized what he would have foolishly done to her. "I don't want to think about it, Donna. I was so wrong... toward all of you. I'm not worthy of you, but... if you'll have me, I'll do anything to make sure you never regret it."

She was silent for a long moment, long enough to make him very nervous. Until she reached out with one hand and pulled his head down for a brief, tender kiss. The shock was enough to knock his respiratory bypass into gear. She smiled softly when she broke the kiss. "Theta Sigma, I give you my consent."

It wasn't quite the traditional words, but it was enough. Forcing his breathing back, he leaned in and whispered the most important words he would ever tell her – words that, for them, would prove he loved her.

Donna cried quietly as the bond formed fully between them. And to his enormous surprise, she tiptoed to whisper a name the Duplicate had given her. She felt his shock as spaces filled in his head that had been empty for millennia, and her own being felt fuller and happier than she'd ever thought possible.

The sight of Donna's joy over the completed bond was too much. The Doctor gently pulled her closer and kissed her, needing to finally initiate one. As she melted into it, her free arm wrapped around his waist, which encouraged him to hold her – and their baby – against him.

That startled the baby to full alertness. He wailed, louder than something so small should've been able to manage.

Chagrined that the embrace held their child too tightly, they broke apart enough to share a silent exchange telepathically. When she nodded he let go a little more, so he could lean down and whisper in their boy's ear.

The crying quieted as the familial bond formed, morphing into whimpers as the baby started turning his head a bit frantically into his mother's chest.

Donna's eyes widened. "He's _hungry_."

"Not surprising. Regeneration makes for a huge appetite." The Doctor choked on a slightly hysterical laugh. "I'm a father again, and I have a chance to get it right this time."

She looked up at him, quirking a grin. "So you'll do whatever it takes to give our boy a family?"

He blushed a little. "I hadn't thought about... siblings for him yet, but... yes. I'll even live in the same house as your mum."

"I wouldn't ask you to do that."

"But after all I was ready to do, I need to prove that I'll do anything for him and you. For the first time in a long while, I could send thanks heavenward. Without the Meta-Crisis' wisdom and stubbornness... we would all be dead or dying."

Donna closed her eyes a moment, then opened them when she recovered a measure of calm. "I'll help you with that, and with forgiving yourself for the past, Spaceman. You help me explain him to my family, and then we'll raise him together."

He found a tiny smile. "Our family, Donna. Yours is now mine."

The baby's nuzzling against her breast was getting him nowhere. He wailed.

Donna paled. "Oh, dear. Can I feed him? Will regenerating mean my body will act like I'd just given birth or do we need to stimulate the milk to come?"

The Doctor frowned, thinking. "Do... um... do you feel heavier than normal?"

She blinked, narrowing her eyes at his attempt to put something politely. "A little."

"Then we'll head to the infirmary, get your hormones caught up, and let him suckle. Even if he doesn't get anything from it, best to start him practicing. Once we've sorted that, we'll introduce him to your family." He paused. "Oh, he needs a name."

Her eyes brightened. "I've got one. He was the defender of man across time, so what better name than 'Alexander'?"

His grin quickly matched hers. "Alexander Noble. Fitting." He led her to the infirmary.

"Not Smith?"

"Why choose that? Your name sounds better, even if it doesn't blend in so well."

"Yeah, you depended on your name to blend in. You need to learn more about that, Spaceman."

He found it in him to laugh, proof that he was beginning to heal. If only he'd known that laughing with her in that tunnel was a sign that he'd no longer needed Rose. But... he'd move on. With his family.

THE END


End file.
